Granny Weatherwax is an expert on “headology” – I could do with someone like her here in Languedoc, but as I don’t live on Discworld I went to see the nearest thing in Beziers.
A scan on a space-age RMI scanner last week indicated my brain is beginning to look like a swiss cheese (no surprise to anyone who knows me), so today I had an appointment with a specialist who can analyse the CD and photos they gave me and to run some more tests. There were no broomsticks or pointy hats in evidence which was a little disappointing.
He seemed very interested in all the “empty” spaces shown in my brain and then had me plugged into a sort of electric hair-net for half an hour while lights were flashing off and on. I decided to think of naughty things in case he got a picture on his equipment, but I suppose everyone does that. The lady operating the apparatus was very nice and nothing like Nanny Ogg.
Medical services in France are absolutely wonderful, no waiting lists, immediate attention, polite staff and you get help, advice and your results immediately.
Back in the doctors consulting room he took time to explain his findings – it seems I have had a lot of injuries to my brain going back a long time, maybe caused by high blood pressure, but I was once a stunt-man in the movies falling off motorbikes and stuff and that this has created many small (and couple of large) areas of damage. – That’s it, simple and straightforward and it explains why I have not been able to concentrate for some time and why I have been unable to write (or do anything useful) for some time.
There’s nothing I can do about it except avoid stress and live a regime which helps keep my blood pressure down – which is one reason I am writing this down, to help me get to grips with things 
The empty bits of my head will not “fill up” again, gone is gone – but I understand the brain is a clever bit of tissue and whatever the bits I have lost did, I may be able to get other bits to do instead, sort of parallel processing.
At least it explains why I have been very ratty with friends and why I can trip over my own shoelaces – so if you see me smiling at everybody and wearing wellingtons in future, you know why.
Tony,
I assume you are writing about yourself, as I don’t think Carole was voluntarily being thrown from motorcycles and such. I can relate. Not to the stunt-man life or the diagnosis….but to this stage of life. Tho I must admit….I just might try to get a doc to “clear” me too!
We are beginning to see the wear and tear of aging in my parents, my Mom age 78, and my Dad age 81. Mom has always been the organized, sharp one and Dad was the caretaker of the house. Today, Mom’s mind doesn’t remember most little things and Dad is learning how to fill in for her. Being the oldest daughter, I think of myself as being so much younger and definitely more acute and aware that I can’t imagine myself in their stage of life, well, at least not for a very long time. However, now that I’m retired, life is slowing down. Today I apologized to a friend for forwarding an email to her after she sent a reply saying she found it a bit off-color. I felt a bit uneasy until it eventually occurred to me that in fact, she was writing to apologize to ME for sending it on. Seems she wanted me to know that she deleted several photos to avoid offending. Hah! I never noticed! Might I also have the Holey-Brain Syndrome? This could work in my, ahem, our favor…….
From your story I conclude, that when life moves too fast, even the “empty spots” can’t keep up in our already overloaded brains. From now on, I sure hope you spend lots of time sharing a sunset in the garden with Carole and the kids, walking the dog(s) in the countryside while noting a new plant or bug as you explore an unused pathway. That will fill up the empty spaces nicely with things of beauty instead of everyday clutter.
In fact…..you should consider yourself fortunate. The kind of “brain purge” you describe is a gift even if you stumble or forget a bit. You have the perfect timing to now go forward and fill the blank pages with words, thoughts and images that will soothe you in years to come, such pleasant things to remember.
Finally…..Note to family: it also is now a medical fact that Tony can no longer be held responsible for forgetting where he left his keys! Smile. Life Is Good!
Happy Holidays to all,
Ruthann Donaldson
Hi Ruthann,
Yes – I am writing about myself, Carole has never ever been on a motorcycle
It seems the brain damage was probably not caused by my old lifestyle (the film work I did was always very carefully rehearsed and made as safe as possible, I never injured myself, although we did not make it look too easy for the directors so we could charge more) – my brain is simply falling to pieces for one reason or another, I suppose I will find out eventually if this is fast or slow progression, only time will tell – meanwhile I certainly shall “take stock” of my life, change my lifestyle where it can help in any way to minimise further damage and try very hard to give positive structure and help to my family (and other animals).
The dog walking, sunsets, new pathways and interesting bugs have been an important part of our life in France ever since we moved here and in retrospect I am glad we did leave the damp and stressful conditions of the UK twenty years ago as this has been 20 years of sunsets and new walks I would never have seen.
My heroine in history is Lola Montez – when faced with changes she said “Courage, et battre les cartes” (Take Courage – and shuffle the deck).
So no more Googling “cerebral lesions” – it’s “nose to the grindstone” to finish what has to be done, concentrate on the “day” and “shuffle the cards” –
Hope to see you in Sunny Languedoc next year
Tony